Baby, I'm Bored

These really get ON MY TITS. OK, so you want to alert the emergency servies that you have a ickle babba in your car should the worst happen. However, I am sure that your average fireman won;t be looking for the diamond-shaped yellow thing, they will probably be looking for, erm, trapped people.

These signs are just an excuse, in my opinion, to say "LOOK, SUCKERS, I AM FERTILE" or "I HAD SEX AT LEAST ONCE IN THE LAST YEAR". I think I might market one saying "SMUG TWAT ON BOARD"

It's like all of those baby toys folk buy to "Keep baby amused on long journeys". Erm, well mine used to pass out within 3 revolutions of the wheels. They never had any toys in the car to keep them amused and I would have been hacked off if I had spent my hard earned child benefit on some Lamaze crap that they would have looked at once disdainfully and then passed out as soon as the car moved off the drive.

AND AS FOR THOSE REAR VIEW MIRROR THINGS ESPECIALLY SO YOU CAN LOOK AT BABY WHILE DOING 90MPH ON THE M5 - KEEP YOUR BLOODY EYES ON THE ROAD, DAMN YOU. Your baby's head won't fall off or it won't grow a beard in the time that it takes you to drive from your house to Sainsbury's (where you will take toys for your baby to look at while pushing them around the supermarket, lest they get bored of the noise/lights/people watching).

And get that frigging sticker out of your car - NOW